Journal #5 | Age Isn’t a Number, It’s a State of Mind

“Time flies”. Its such a simple, anecdotal cliche. I tend to stay away from cliches like this but sometimes they are too true not to take notice of. I guess thats how they end up becoming cliches in the first place.

I feel like just yesterday I was overpacking all of my worldly possessions into a rented, red Yukon and making the pilgrimage to my grimy, first year dorm. I also feel like just yesterday I was celebrating being 18 and reveling in my newly acquired ‘adulthood’.

But here I am, sitting in a new dorm, at age 20, after my first day of sophomore year in college.

I’ve been thinking, lately, about the process of aging. It’s all so relative; How old we feel, look or act. I remember thinking I was ‘old’ as the clock ticked over to midnight on my 20th birthday, and I remember my dad telling me how young he feels at 60.

I’m beginning to wonder what the point of classifying people based on age is. I pictured turning 13 as a child as something that would be a momentous occasion. I’d finally be in a group I could only see from the outside, but was never allowed into. I would finally be in the same group as all the adults pretending to be teenagers in my  favorite TV shows. I would be able to safely watch ‘Teen Nick’ without feeling like I was doing something elicit.

I guess these thoughts resurfaced when the same thing happened on my 20th birthday. I was now part of the most infamous time of life; your twenties. This is where you find yourself, or so I’ve heard. These proverbial twenties so far are not too far away from how I’ve felt at any other point in my life, though. I don’t know if I can safely say whether or not I’ve found myself.

We put so much emphasis on what age people are, rather than what age they feel. I feel, for a twenty-year old, pretty mature (Or I’d like to think I am, the jury is still out on that one). We close doors because of people being too old or too young for us. We are told we aren’t old enough to do some things but too old to do others. The relativity of it all infuriates and confuses me. I guess it just proves that no matter how much we age, we never really get too much wiser.




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